The Subtleties of Communication
“Our differences were many, but bringing them forth rather than politely concealing them we many times arrived at solutions that none of us could have anticipated”.
Fritz Perl’s, “Gestalt Therapy: Excitement and Growth in the Human Personality”.
A significant and on-going relationship is hugely rewarding and absolutely worth your time and effort. To connect, each person must be willing to show up as they “are”. “Showing up” involves [Read more...]
Showing up involves sharing your feelings about many things and especially when and how you are impacted by the behaviors and or words of your partner. Here are some examples: Example 1: TRY [Read more...]
Awareness of your stuff is necessary for you to be able to share your self with another person. It means that you’re in touch with the sensitivities you have to certain topics and behaviors. It also [Read more...]
Avoidance of engaging another around differences is typically fear based and a learned or automatic response. Are you avoiding a negative reaction occurring in the other person or yourself? For [Read more...]
When you show up, you will inevitably discover that you have differences. No two people are alike. When couples first meet their differences can be experienced as novel and exciting. Eventually [Read more...]
John Gottman has been researching couples for over 40 years. His research shows that 69% of fights are about perpetual problems, while 31% are solvable. Here is a link summarizing Gottman’s [Read more...]
Two realities are at play when you are part of a couple. How could there not be two perspectives? Each person is unique and has unique and separate experiences that they bring to a relationship. [Read more...]
Be 100% responsible for showing up and 100% responsible for your reactions; this increases your trustworthiness. John Gottman says it helps to: 1) Use a soft start up. TRY THIS: I would like to [Read more...]
TRUST IS EXPERIENCE OVER TIME…. This is worth saying several times… TRUST = EXPERIENCE TIME TRUST = EXPERIENCE TIME TRUST = EXPERIENCE [Read more...]